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Zero


Dah hampir 4bulan breakup, tapi still tak boleh lupakan dia. Hmm taktau la kenapa susah sangat ni. Macam-macam benda dah buat nak bagi lupa, tapi tetap tak boleh jugak. Even dia dah bahagia dengan orang yang dia sayang sekarang, aku takleh nak lupakan dia jugak. Dah cuba wujudkan rasa benci, tapi tak boleh. Walaupun kadang-kadang tak ingat pasal dia, tapi benda tu bertahan kejap je. Kejap sangat. Selang sehari dua, teringat balik.

Ada la kawan dia yang bagi nasihat, suruh move on, macam2 dah kata-kata semangat yang dia bagi, tapi hmmm macam ni lah, sama jugak. Depan orang memang kita cakap kita kuat, kita tak fikir dah pasal dia, dah lama lupakan, dah tak ingat langsung dekat dia, taknak contact apa semua, tapi benda ni semua tipu je. Segan la nak cakap kat orang yang kita tak boleh lupakan dia, macam desperate sangat pulak. So, depan orang kena la tunjuk yang kita ni kuat! Ego kena tinggi sikit. haha. Kenapa laaa kali ni susah sangat eh nak lupakan kau? Dah kena bomoh agaknya. 

Dannnnn, dalam masa 4bulan ni jugak lah aku takde rasa nak bercinta, nak berkenalan dengan sape-sape. Risau benda macam ni jadi lagi. Dulu tak fikir, ye lahh dah dia punya words pun macam boleh dipercayai. Katanya 
"Umur dah lebih 20tahun, dah tak fikir nak main-mainkan perasaan orang. Dah fikir nak cari duit, nak habiskan study, nak jaga anak dara orang. Tak sempat dah nak cari orang lain"
Tapi hakikatnya, dia yang buat hal. Tak sure laa cari orang lain ke, orang datang cari dia ke apa. Tapi benda kalau tak gatal, tak fikir nak cari yang sempurna, mungkin benda ni tak jadi. Dah takde hati nak bercinta. Bayangkan lah, 2tahun dengan dia, even nampak kejap, tapi tu lah yang paling lama pernah aku hadap. Tak pernah rasa nak cari yang lain walaupun nak kata dia yang sempurna tu tak langsung, tapi bila fikir-fikir, buat ape nak cari yang lain, yang tu dah cukup sempurnakan aku.

Last-last, semuanya hancur. Sia-sia je rasa semua benda yang dah buat. Hmm paling teruk dah ni rasa. Disebabkan dia, hancur terus kepercayaan kat semua orang. Tak kira la lelaki ke perempuan, sama je. Tak boleh dah nak 100% trust dekat someone.
Terima kasih :)

It's Over !


1. He stops texting you back even though he used to text you first.
2. He's busy with life and living and excuses.
3. When he kisses you it feels like he's thinking to hard, as though he can't wait to get away. When he stops, he turns and doesn't look back.
4. When you ask him a question the replies are short or not at all. When you're silent he doesn't make the effort to speak.
5. I love you are met with awkwardness. I love you are met with, 'why?' I love you are met with, 'you shouldn't'
6. He sighs, A lot
7. He looks angry on some days and sad on others. Either way you don't know what to do. Hearing your voice used to calm him down, now it seems to have the opposite effect.
8. He dismisses your fears as ridiculous. You tell him that you're worried but he just rolls his eyes. You think he's being insensitive but it's because he doesn't want to lie. You're looking for comfort where there's none.
9. You make him unhappy so you give him space. The gap keeps getting larger and larger and you feel him slipping away. Do you hold on, or let go, regret it for the rest of your life?
10. He tells you that things change and he's changed his mind. He tells you that it wasn't your fault but somehow that doesn't make things right. He tells you a lot of things but you stopped listening at 'I stopped loving you.' He tells you he doesn't want to hurt you but all you feel is pain. 

Tbh, it's all over. This is my life. I've to facing it even though it's hard  broken heart

Terima kasih :)